Archive for August, 2014

*Disclaimer alert* No person or persons were harmed either physically or emotionally in the making of this blog…well, not by me at least.

In the UK, well England at least, the kids are currently on their summer holidays. In an effort to avoid back-garden-cabin-fever and Xbox over dose, my wife and myself have been taking the kids out on a regular basis.  

While we’re not perfect parents, I think we do a pretty good job of prioritizing the kids without spoiling them. We use the word no liberally and set to rules – we are the LAW! 
I asked my wife for a Judge Dredd helmet to wear when telling the kids off, but she told me not to be so childish. Does she even know me?!?!

a couple of days ago we took the kids to a local attraction kindly put on by the church. While I’m an atheist, I do appreciate the good religion can do for some people – just not for me.

Anyway, while we cued the mother of the family up ahead of us told the lady organizing registration that her son can’t be unsupervised. Slightly confused the lady said ‘it’s okay supervision is provided.’ 

At that point I thought the mother was only being sensible and thoughtful. However, she shattered that illusion when without provocation she claimed her son had ADHD (like me) and was completely psychotic. 

Forgive me for being a judgmentalist but up until that point I thought I’d done a pretty good job ignoring the fact she looked like she’d slept in the cloths she had on. If she was so willing to tell a complete stranger that she thinks her son is a nutter, then I wonder what kind of cutting remarks she throws at him when at home? Okay, might be making assumptions but their is no smoke without fire…unless you let off a smoke bomb or it’s dry ice – oh, you get what I mean.

Okay, so kids with ADHD might well be a pain in the arse and a right handful but they also have ears and feelings. My wife and I exchanged glances, happy that the cue she joined took her in the opposite direction.

What she said got me thinking about my own kids and would I belittle or degrade them if they were ADHD? No, would I f***. We suspect Luke might have ADD and are getting him assessed later this month. While his lack of listening skills drives us mad and I do call him a numskull or a silly arse, it’s always while we’re wrestling or mucking about.

I see Luke being effected by issues in his life and the last thing I’d ever do is make his life harder by throwing insults at him.

See…I’m not a fully paid up tosser…ish.




I’ve just got back from picking up my niece so Catherine can take her out shopping . Alisha had her birthday a few weeks back, so this is her treat. While driving to collect her, I asked Luke, my son, if he wanted to look through the CDs for something different to put on.

Currently I’m listening to Bastille’s Bad Blood, which I rather like. 

Luke plucked the ‘Ultimate sin’ by Ozzy and while I’m an Ozzy fan, this particular album isn’t what you’d call his greatest work. However, updated to it’s quality and undeterred, Luke continued foraging.

Luke’s face lit up when he produced Ozzy’s greatest hits. We both agreed it’d be better listening and after I put it on I stopped at at Crazy train. Luke absolutely loves this song and sure enough his eyes were closed and across his face was the biggest, broadest smile. Awesome.

I love seeing my kids happy and after I’d glanced over at Luke, something stuck me. I’d never, ever been that happy with either of my parents in my entire life. For both my brother and myself as children, life was nothing short of a misery. Jason, my brother and my best friend, was a promising footballer and had scouts watching him on a regular basis. Of course he had no idea he was any good. I mean how could he when neither mum or dad had a nice thing to say about the pair of us. I’m not saying he’d have been a Lionel Messy,  no, but Jason was young enough to be taught and he was , in my opinion – an extremely talented athlete. But that chance went begging because he was helped or encouraged. Christ, my father wouldn’t even buy him a new pair of boots when he outgrew his last. 

To all the dads that might read this. I want you to imagine your child or children somehow get recognised and scouted for something they love doing; how happy would you be? Nay, not how happy. I mean how delighted, delirious or over the moon would you be. As parents all want is to see our kids happy and watching my son, eyes closed nodding his head to the music, brought a tear to my eye. 


One for the bucket list, for sure.



Zombie Apocalypse (Guest Blogger: Browno).