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Right, here goes… What the flying f**k is wrong with society nowadays? I mean, I get man’s incessant need to create, expand and make better, but do we really need an injection that’ll cure a double chin? No, do we f***. Jesus, like that’s the most pressing issue facing us as a species at the moment. I’d say the likelihood of fossil fuel running out, or a rogue asteroid slamming us back to the stone-age are both more worrying than having enough chins so that it feels like you’re in a perpetual headlock.

Call this radical but I know of a solution that doesn’t involve surgery or some dodgy concoction to make you look and feel better – it’s called eating sensibly and exercise.

Don’t get me wrong, I’m not beating up on fat people, no, not at all, but what really winds me up is with every biological or technological break through come a slight increase in out waist sizes and a reduction in the masses IQ. Yet no matter how easy s*** gets, we still bitch like buggery about everything. Oh and you musn’t forget mankind’s greed clinging to the coattails of endeavor like some leg humping jack rustle terrier, only with bags of cash and, um, glasses…ahem.

I totally understand as a species we are great innovators but surely their has to be some sort of saturation point that once crossed we’ll only be doing ourselves harm?

It kind of reminds me of that old Chinese proverb that Geronimo, the old three fingered, half blind school caretaker once told me… ‘Give a man a stick and he’ll most likely sharpen, travel to the next farm on his donkey and jab a goat in the eye…or something.’ Ahem…

While the more astute amongst you may have realized that wasn’t Chinese or even a proverb, you might habe understood understand (doubt it) what I mean.

For those wondering what the f**k I’m wibbling, I’ll keep you guessing no longer. Sometimes even the best conceived ideas aren’t always received as intended. I’m pretty sure if I bothered – don’t worry, I can’t be arsed – that if I took the time to browse the WWW, I’d find endless references where noble creations have been twisted into nefarious ends.

So, eat a carrot, walk to work and get a cat. Peace.

Matt..