**WARNING – THIS BLOG CONTAINS COPIOUS AMOUNTS OF SPOILERS AND A FEW HALF-BAKED THEORIES!**
The battle of the bastards, how good was that?! I know what you’re thinking and yes, it was, but no chuffing way am I going to give up the best bit immediately! I’m savin’ that for last, you cheeky buggers!
Anyway, in an attempt to avoid the topic, I’ll kick things off by talking about Daenerys, Tyrion and the visit from the Iron Islands.
Daenerys, Tyrion and the salty duo.
In my humble opinion, I think Tyrion somewhat fucked up when he chose to cut a deal with the masters. Sure he had to try and you can’t blame him for that, but did you really think those dirt bags wouldn’t try something? Okay, I didn’t think they’d try an all out assault, but I guess they felt confident that Daenerys and her dragons were nowhere to be found. They were wrong.
When Daenerys and Tyrion were talking about what they should do to repel the attack, I momentarily thought she might just throw a wobbler and banish his arse. But she didn’t and I’m glad. I’m also glad Tyrion got to address the masters and inform them one of them had to die. To me this cemented his place as her adviser and mouth piece. Now with two of the masters are dead, and the last scared witless, this should ensured peace and allow her to move on to greater things, the Iron throne, etc, etc.
While Daenerys most definitely suffers with a case of Targaryen stubbornness – maybe even madness – and isn’t above digging her heels in, Tyrion, on the other hand, is considerably wiser and will do a grand job of leading her. Why? Well, he has no discernible ego to overcome, unlike many of the other major characters.
Oh er missus, what did you make of the scene with Daenerys and Yara?!?! Poke me in the eye with a kipper and slap me Nan, I honestly thought they were about to drop everything and go at it hammer and tongue…heheheehe, see what I did their? Hammer and tongue. Get it? Tongue? Meh, my genius is wasted.
Anyway, the interaction between the two was rather full on, and childish jokes aside, Daenerys now not only rules the skies but the waves as well. I still think, mind you, that she and Jon will get it on. Why? Well the show is becoming easier to predict and this picture sealed my opinion on the matter.
Similar, no? Could be a coincidence, but this makes me believe they’ll team up to kick the crap out of the shite walkers.
Besties forever – Tormund and Davos.
Tormund’s alive!!!! And I’m rather glad, I have to say. I liked his attempt at verbal tennis with Davos, and okay, he was about as successful as a deaf and blind volley ball team, bur you have to give him credit for bothering his arse. I suppose when you’re a hairy barbarian type, you do what you like and say fuck all. This week, however, it kind of felt like he’d played his part and killing him – although he may still die – would server little to no purpose, no shock value if you will.He’s kind of had his 15 minuets of fame and can now melt into the back ground.
Davos, as always, was typically sensible and steady, but the scene where he found the burnt wooden stag makes me wonder if the shit might hit the fan in the future. What size and consistency that shit might be is yet to be understood. and due to the slight simplification of the show, and given the plot is thickening fast, I’m half expecting the burning of Stannis’ daughter to be brushed under the carpet.
Well, I say that but I don’t honestly know. What would Davos achieve by sticking a knife in Melisandre. That won’t help the cause, and Davos would know that. After all, they will need every little help they can get if they are to overcome the shite walkers. But why then did they have him find it with such a pretty fiery back drop? I suspect it might not be a throw away clue, but like I’ve said, I don’t know.
One nagging point though. Do you really think Tormund would have survived such a battle a few seasons ago? Fuck no. Good old George would have had him slaughtered in-front of our eyes, his bowels unpicked and his eyes gouged out just to laugh at our collective dismay. But no, the plots aren’t as vicious, nor are they as forward planed as they once were, I’d venture.
Please don’t think I’m unhappy with the show because it’s becoming more cliched, I’m so not and love it. No, it is merely an observation. To be fair, a little dumbing down is hardly a sacrifice and has to be expected.
Personally I think we’re pretty lucky the show still gets masses of funding and is as entertaining as it is. I bet their are plenty of people out there dreading the long dark between the last episode and the first new one, right? I wonder, how many other long running series have their been that either evaporated before they were finished, or had their budgets slashed due to plummeting viewing figures? A fair few I’d say.
Bastard, one, wanker…nil.
FUCK ME, the battle scene was cracking, no? The sense of claustrophobia was especially well done and with all the shit, blood and bodies flying every which way, you felt irresistibly draw in to the fray. The sound was overwhelming and the chaos tangible. For a few moments I was tunnel visioned on the screen, focused furiously on Jon, half expecting him to either get run through or be peppered with arrows. Thankfully this wasn’t the case. This was brilliantly backed up by the scene where Jon almost got trampled to death. His ragged breath was at the forefront of what you could hear and for a brief moment the word of Melisandre rang in my ears. Maybe Jon was only brought back only to die here? But no.
What a swordsman Jon’s turned out to be, right? Hell yeah…but what a shit-house of a general! I know his little brother was horrifically slaughtered by Ramsey the wanker, but it worries me that Jon hasn’t the tactical nous of a crayon eating village idiot. It’s one thing to win the loyalty of the wildlings – lets be honest, they’re not the brightest – but it’s something far removed to be able to defeat the undead hordes controlled by the night king. Lets face it, if it wasn’t for shitty fingers…sorry, little finger, Jon would have kicked the bucket the other night.
Another matter that concerns me is Sansa. I think she could easily turn into a wanker. Over the last few weeks she’s been pissing off some of the houses once loyal to her father by acting like a chopper, now she’s keeping secrets from Jon and pretty much using him as a meat shield in order to secure the victory. I get that Ramsey abused her, We all know hes a dick, but in keeping such a secret, she pretty much wrote off both brothers. Call me a donkey but that’s not the actions of a loving sister. Also, either she knows more about tactics than she let on at the war council, or little finger helped her manufacture the plan. Maybe little finger wanted Jon out of the way. He’s a bit of a worm and would do anything to avoid getting his hand dirty or his throat cut.
Right, that’s about it. Not proof reading as it’s late. Peace.